top of page

The Truth About Surrogacy: Why Surrogates Don't Want to Keep the Baby After Birth

Updated: Jun 15

Black and gray photo of a baby, in a hat, holding an adult hand

Surrogacy is a deeply personal and often misunderstood journey, where individuals selflessly choose to carry a child for intended parents who are unable to conceive on their own. While the process of surrogacy is filled with love, hope, and compassion, there's a common misconception that surrogates may want to keep the baby after birth. In reality, the decision to become a gestational carrier is rooted in a profound commitment to helping others create their families, and here's why surrogates don't typically desire to keep the baby after birth.


Clear Intentions:

Gestational carriers enter into a surrogacy arrangement with clear intentions. They understand and embrace the fact that the child they carry is not their own. Surrogacy agreements are meticulously crafted to outline the roles, responsibilities, and expectations of all parties involved. Surrogates undergo a thorough screening process to ensure they are emotionally prepared to carry a child for someone else. This clarity from the outset helps surrogates maintain a healthy emotional distance and perspective throughout the journey.

Emotional Boundaries:

Surrogates develop a unique bond with the intended parents throughout the surrogacy process. They share in the joy of milestones such as hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time or feeling the first kicks. However, this bond is based on the understanding that the child belongs to the intended parents.

Working with Queer Surrogacy, gestational carriers are required to have their own families and are raising at least one child at the time of their surrogacy journey.

Surrogates are driven by a desire to help others experience the same joy of parenthood that they cherish. They maintain clear emotional boundaries to honor the intended parents' wishes and the surrogacy agreement.

Legal Framework:

Surrogacy is a highly regulated process, with legal frameworks in place to protect the rights of all parties involved. Before embarking on a surrogacy journey, gestational carriers and intended parents enter into legally binding contracts that specify parental rights and responsibilities. These contracts outline that the intended parents are the child's legal guardians from the moment of conception. Surrogates understand and respect these legal boundaries, reinforcing their commitment to fulfilling their role as surrogates without seeking parental rights.

Personal Fulfillment:

For many gestational carriers, the fulfillment derived from helping someone else achieve their dream of parenthood far outweighs any desire to keep the baby after birth. The joy of witnessing the intended parents hold their newborn for the first time and knowing they played a pivotal role in making that moment possible is incredibly rewarding and life-changing for both parties. Gestational carriers often describe the experience as empowering and profound and reaffirming their decision to pursue surrogacy.

Surrogacy is a beautiful expression of compassion, generosity, and love. Gestational carriers embark on this journey with a deep understanding of their role and responsibilities and a genuine desire to help others fulfill their dream of parenthood.

The misconception that surrogates may want to keep the baby after birth overlooks the selflessness and dedication inherent in the surrogacy process.

By honoring the intended parents' wishes and respecting the legal framework surrounding surrogacy, surrogates play a vital role in creating families and spreading joy and hope to those in need.


If you are looking to begin your surrogacy journey as an Intended Parent or Gestational Carrier, please see us at


bottom of page